L'Italo-Americano

L'Italo-Americano THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2018 www.italoamericano.org 8 FRANCESCA BEZZONE L a donna Italiana: timeless like la Loren, mes merizing like Milva, beautiful like la Bellucci, intelligent like la Montalcini, strong like la Fallaci. Good in the kitchen like all nonne, eternally charming, she knows how to be a leader without forgetting femininity, she is a temptress, but never for- gets her evening prayers. Yes, Italian women are all that: in the world's collective imagination, that is. As much as I wish, as a proud daughter of Italy, to be all th at w e are believed to be, reality is much more prosaic and less picture perfect than words. We are more Bridget J ones than J ackie K enn edy, jus t like girls and w omen all over the w orld, although, let me be honest here, there are certain things, among all those stereotypes, that do contain a shred of truth. We are volitive and certainly comfortable in our skin. In a world of raw diets, intermittent fasting and shrinking sizes, we still enjoy a big plate of pasta over a leafy salad without dress- ing and know how to cook prop- erly at least two or three dishes for each course of a proper meal. Italian women are not always sexy and they are not always beautiful. As all Italians though, they know how to laugh, avoid- ing to take themselves - and all those silly stereotypes - too seri- ously: that's why I feel I won't offend any of my female compa- triots if I write about our little manias and idiosyncrasies and how they turn sometimes, and mostly with a lot of love and affection, into the trait our friends like to define us with. So, enters… L'ossessionata dal pulito Years before Obsessive Com- puls ive Cleaners became an international hit, we all knew already a friend's mom who would expect you to take off your shoes when visiting, or would offer you a pair of pattine, thick fleece rectangles in a vari- ety of colors, you were required to slide on when moving about the house. Staples of the osses- sionata del pulito' s home, yes- terday as today, are bleach, a powerful hoover able to suck up people's souls and, of course, Saturdays dedicated solely to cleaning. Her home is always pristine and free of clutter: she likes white and gray, because that way cleanliness shows bet- ter. She has no books, no trinkets on the s helves , nothing that could potentially harbor dust or, god forbids, germs. Her obses- sion shows also when eating out: she would never use a restau- rant's toilet and usually inspects carefully cutlery and cookery before eating. If you visit her, she probably hitches for you to go quickly: she needs to sanitize the chair you're sitting on, pron- to. L'attiva in politica Social and political aware- ness is more than essential, it is a duty. Even our Constitution s ays it w hen declaring, for instance, that voting is not only a right, but also a duty. Being politically active is good, then, but only when it's done with sense. L'attiva in politica some- times looses contact with reality: she is driven by her ideals and lives in a world made of Marx and second-wave feminism. Her partner is bearded and skinny, he probably cycles everywhere and may or may not (or pretend to) be a writer. She likes her hair long and her clothes made from organic cotton. Even if she is forgetful about the fact we are no longer in the 1960s - and that she w as n't even born then - her friends like her idealism, but learned how to tune off her rag- ing monologues about the Italian government a long time ago. La fatalona Attenzione. La fatalona isn't a femme fatale, nor a beautiful, warm temptress à la Lollo circa 1955. La fatalona thinks to be all that, but she is not. Although usually pleasant to the eye, she lacks natural charm and attracts solely on the basis of how over- the-top she looks. Make up is heavy and the rule to show either décolletage or legs is lost on her; she thinks to be the new Marylin, but she really is only a cringe- worthy caricature of the myth. Mind, though, la fatalona is not a negative character, because she usually has a good heart and tends to always, always fall in love with the men she dates. Unfortunately for her, it never last.Thankfully, she has a very close-knit group of girlfriends who listen to her misadventures as if it were an episode of The Bold and the Beautiful, offering support, love, advice and, usual- ly, chocolate. L'eterna giovane A few years ago, a journalist writing for the Sunday Times Magazine coined the expression 1661 to define this type of woman: 16-61, as in "16 from behind, 61 from the front." Indeed, Italy seems to be replete with them. We are talking about women of a certain age who are good looking, but have been denying the fact they are spring chickens no more. L'eterna gio- vane is very much recognizable by the way she dresses, as her outfits belong on people at least 25 years her junior; to be fair, l'eterna giovane is usually very good looking for her age and can carry shorts and tight tops better than much younger w omen. Beware though, she is not quite the s ame thing as a cougar, because chasing after younger men is not a top priority for her. She is often happily married, she loves her children and the way s he looks makes her happy, regardless of what men think. Thinking of it, I like l'eterna giovane a lot: youth is a state of mind, right? And if you still have legs like those of a twenty year old, w hy not flaunting them every now and then? L'esterofila Italian is a beautiful language and it has plenty of words to express all feelings and ideas or to describe every concept or place. Yet, when it comes to fas hion and make up, s ome among us decided using English words is better. Of course, this is a widespread trend in all fields and among men, too, but because of the growing importance of international beauty gurus in Italy w omen, es pecially the young ones, became slaves of the "English word." So, il trucco is always make up, il fard turned into blush and l'illuminante is rigorously called highlighter. Unsatisfied with the simple use of specific terminology, l'estero- fila also ventures into social media posts in English: because her knowledge of the language tends to be minimal, results are funny at best, but pathetic when she attempts to write about seri- ous stuff. Alas, don't take offense if you recognize yourself in one of our groups: it was all done for fun and with great affection. One last thing, I'd like to say, though. All Italian women have something in common: they're resilient and they make amazing friends . Maybe it's because they love talking and eating or maybe, as an Italian blogger s aid, it's because they are so warm and used to live in large families: whichever the reason, an Italian girl always find a way to smooth difficulties, to give support and never, never gives up on those she loves. Beautiful and charming, impeccably dressed: here's some stereotypes about Italian women. But they are also resi- lient, chatty and they love eating. Always! Meet the Italians: five types of women you'll find in the Bel Paese LIFESTYLE FASHION FOOD ARTS DESIGN

• Cover