L'Italo-Americano

L'Italo-Americano THURSDAY, MAY 17, 2018 www.italoamericano.org 8 LA VITA ITALIANA TRADITIONS HISTORY CULTURE DONATELLA POLIZZI M aybe it is all due to fairy tales, but weddings, big and fat or small and thin, are always in fashion. A wedding in Italy is considered such a beauti- ful event that when someone asks you to do something you really like, it is described as invi- to a nozze, an invitation to the wedding. From the Sicilian "making of the bed" (cunzata del letto) to the "bride's arch" in Piedmont, traditions and customs connected to weddings are many and they vary depending on the region. The bed is symbol of conju- gal life and, in Sicily, it must never be prepared by the bride. A week before the marriage, the bride's closest girlfriends (in older times they had to be vir- gins, today they just have not to be married) will make the bed with white linens under the supervision of older women. To embellish the bed, white Jordan almonds or rose petals and rice are put on the night stand or on the bed in the shape of a heart. Neither the bride nor the groom are allowed to see the bed before they are married. An almost identical tradition is found in Calabria and it is called the "dressing" (vestizione) of the bed. All of Southern Italy had the common tradition that, when a girl was born, the mother and grandmothers immediately started to prepare her trousseau which was a "work in progress," enriched every year with embroi- dered tablecloths or bed linens in different materials, depending on the economic possibilities the family had. Today, this tradition almost no longer exists because few people hand embroider or have the time to iron such beau- tiful items, and couples prefer to spend money in travels or tech- nological devices. Another Sicilian tradition is the display of wedding presents. At the bride's house, the formal dining room is set up with the finest table cloths and all the pre- sents are displayed for friends and relatives to see. Remaining in Southern Italy, until a few decades ago, it was common the new couple, after the wedding banquet, would dance just like it happens today but, at the time, relatives and friends would pin banknotes on the bride and groom so that, by the end of the dance, they would literally be covered with money. Today, this custom has been changed and money is put into wedding reg- istries to pay for house décor or for the honey moon trip. The same goal, in Northern Italy, is still attained with the "cutting of the tie." The groom's tie is cut in tiny pieces and each piece is sold like in a real auction. All the money raised is then given to the newlyweds. In Northern Italy, we find other traditions like the bride's arch, where the future neighbors build an arch to be positioned at the entrance of the couple's house and tied with a knotted ribbon; on the other side of the arch, the bride's mother in law will untie the knot so that the newlyweds will be able to enter the home. Another Northern rite is "the Exes." The night before the marriage, the couple's friends mark two ways that lead from the homes where the bride and the groom live to the homes of their exes and they cover the ways with sawdust so that the rejected sweetheart's tears can be absorbed. Sa ratzia or s'arazzu, the grace, is a Sardinian good luck tradition: a dish is filled with symbols of abundance and fertil- ity: rice, wheat, candies, raisins, salt, coins, Jordan almonds, petals, leaves, and confetti. The bride's mother or grandmother will throw the contents in the air and then will throw with force the dish breaking it on the floor at the bride's feet. The dish is a symbol of the parents' house and breaking it means the bride will not go back home and her mar- riage will last forever. In the Neapolitan area, the night before the wedding, the groom will ser- enade the bride. In the Basilicata region, the morning after the wedding, the husband used to give the wife a present, mor- gengab, as a thank you for the sexual consummation; today there is only a rite involving the couple turning three times and singing around a tree, symbol of fertility. In Friuli Venezia Giulia, a mountainous region, after the ceremony, husband and wife must cut a tree using a double woodcutter saw to show they are able to work together. In Liguria it is considered bad luck to wear pearls on the wedding day, because they supposedly bring tears, but in other regions they are symbol of delicate elegance and thus perfect for the bride. In ancient Roman times, it was bad luck to get married on Tuesday (the day of the week dedicated to Mars, the God of war) or Friday (the day dedicated to the Goddess Venus). It was also bad luck to get married in August and May while today it is good luck to get married in May, mese della rosa, della sposa, del fiocco rosa (the month of the rose, of the bride and of pink rib- bons symbolizing the birth of a girl). If it rains on the bride, she will be lucky; if the groom for- gets something at home, he must never go back and someone else will have to fetch it. A modifica- tion of an ancient Roman tradi- tion is honking all the way from church to the reception, as the sound will send away evil spirits. Apart from all traditions and superstitions, Italian weddings are governed by some strict rules. The bride's bouquet is chosen by the bride and bought by the groom; the groom will be dressed in grey or blue; for very formal weddings, he will wear a tight, but only for morning cere- monies; the bride will always wear pantyhose, even when wearing sandals, the groom will wear no jewelry except for a watch and cufflinks; all guests will never wear black or white. With regard to the entrance into the church, Italian etiquette is very clear: first is the groom accompanied by his mother, then flower girls and ring-carrying boy, finally the bride at her father's arm. An Italian charac- teristic is the bomboniera (party favour), a small present that, at the end of the reception, is given to each guest. It usually is a small precious object like a porcelain box or dish or a ster- ling silver frame, to which is attached a tulle bag filled with white Jordan almonds. These must always be in an odd num- ber to symbolize inseparability, and they are usually five for health, happiness, fertility, wealth, and long life; a small card is included with the cou- ple's names and the date. A curiosity about brides- maids, an American custom which does not exist in Italy, is that this is actually an ancient Egyptian tradition: they believed that evil spirits would gather on the wedding day to ruin the joy- ful event, so the bride's girl- friends would wear luxurious dresses and followed the bride to confuse the evil spirits who would not be able to recognize the bride and bring her bad luck. We owe to Egyptians the tradi- tion of wearing the wedding band on the left ring finger: they thought to have discovered a vein that went from the left ring finger straight to the heart and along this vein would run feel- ings. Thus putting a ring, like tying, on that finger would assure faithfulness. Socrates said: "Get married! If your wife is good, you will be happy; if your wife will not be good, you will become a philosopher"! Evviva gli Sposi! Each region of Italy has specific traditions and habits related to weddings, their organization and the way they are prepared Wedding traditions, Italian style

• Cover