L'Italo-Americano

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 2021 www.italoamericano.org 14 L'Italo-Americano I can recall more than one incident of tap- tapping my foot on I t a l i a n p a v e m e n t , repeatedly checking my watch as an exasperated sigh escaped my lips. The orario (schedule) said the train was to depart at 13.15 – where is it? More than once, I've twisted my head, owl- l i k e , i n a t r a t t o r i a a s I s e a r c h e d f o r m y w a i t e r , struggling to squelch rising i m p a t i e n c e … w h e r e i s i l conto (the check), per favore e grazie? F o r m a n y A m e r i c a n s , patience is far from being a virtue. Not to shirk personal responsibility, but society primes us to view anything less than perceived efficiency as too slow. We have express- ways to get us around quick- l y , s p e e d y d o - i t - y o u r s e l f checkouts in grocery stores, fast food joints on every cor- ner, computers and devices that whisk us about at light- ning speed…all feeding and fostering our need for instant g r a t i f i c a t i o n . I t c a n b e exhausting. It's hard to loosen that mortal coil of impatience that is practically an expectation i n o u r c u l t u r e . F o r t h e American caught in an end- less love affair with Italy, however, learning the art of pazienza (patience) rises above desired self-improve- ment: it becomes necessity. T h e b e a u t y o f t r a v e l i s wrapped around immersing oneself in a different culture. It's a sad fact, though, that many hang on to the mindset of wanting things "like at h o m e . " H o w I ' v e c r i n g e d while waiting my turn at the espresso bar as I've over- heard a tourist cackle, "I want real coffee…not that lit- tle cup!" I extend the barista my best "I'm sorry" face and fight the urge to offer the offenders a quick lesson on reveling in a different cul- ture. To genuinely enjoy the full benefits of the essence of I t a l y , a c c e p t i n g c u l t u r a l n o r m s w i t h I t a l i a n - s t y l e patience can mean the differ- ence between unrelenting frustration and memories that dreams are made of. Piano, piano…take your time…what's the rush? Such a favored saying in Italy, and a reminder I've been offered b y w e l l - m e a n i n g I t a l i a n friends. It's a good one. Life in Italy, whether there for a week, a season, or a lifetime, b e g s u s t o s l o w d o w n , t o savor. Afterall, isn't that one o f t h e c u l t u r e ' s g r e a t e s t appeals -- an existence that accepts the daily flaws and frustrations of life with the calm anticipation that most things are not going to go according to plan? Accepting these things, even embracing them, is a virtue Italians have seemingly mastered. I sup- pose with several thousand years of practice, it's doable! E x i s t e n c e o n t h e b e l l a peninsula has always had its challenges. Although much tamer in comparison to days of old, contemporary life offers up plenty of practice for refining la virtù della pazienza. Tasks that would cause palpitations in most Americans if carried out on a n I t a l i a n t i m e l i n e b r i n g nothing more than a shoul- der shrug to the Italian citi- z e n . I t m i g h t t a k e t w o months for Zio Luca to get his birthday card? Nessun problema. Still need that marca da bollo (tax stamp) on your government docu- ment? It might…or might not…get an inky "whomp" in time, but… va bene. What about the aperitivo scheduled with un amico at 5:00 pm? Show up at 5:15 and there's still time to kill before he arrives. And so it goes – life moves on at a pace and in a manner that escapes control. Hanging on to harried and hurried only delays the hap- piness found in fully appreci- ating the Italian lifestyle, idiosyncrasies and all. Italian culture is cer- tainly not going to change to accommodate any of us, nor should it. It's as if expecting Alfredo sauce to appear on a m e n u … h e a v e n f o r b i d . Learning to accept, even rel- i s h , t h e i m p e r f e c t i o n s i s where the art of patience can be assimilated and embraced as a gift from the world's (in my opinion) most beautiful c o u n t r y a n d c u l t u r e . I t requires concerted open- m i n d e d n e s s , t h o u g h , t o a c c e p t t h a t m a y b e , j u s t maybe, it's okay to take two hours to savor lunch rather than push down a burger w h i l e f i n i s h i n g e r r a n d s . Efficiency isn't part of the slowed-down equation. My early travels in Italy taught me this lesson over and over again, and finally…I g o t i t . W a i t i n g f o r t h a t delayed train gave me time to pause and take in the buzz of t h e s t a z i o n e f e r r o v i a r i a (train station), to observe and interact with people from all walks of life in transit just as I w a s t h a t d a y . H o w m a n y times did a wrong turn made in haste lead me down a path to some fabulous discovery of a small village or scenic jour- n e y I ' d h a v e o t h e r w i s e missed? Not only is learning this virtù italiana a charac- ter-building experience, it's also the inheritance of a lot of unexpected joy. Slowing down, practicing the art of patience – it's a wonderful slice of the Italian piano-piano experience. Yet as it goes with many rules, exceptions do exist! There are no road signs designating "Leave your patience in the trunk;" however, any experi- ence on an Italian autostrada w i l l s p o t l i g h t a m a r k e d decline in virtuosity once b e h i n d t h e w h e e l . I t ' s a l l a b o u t s p e e d , b a b y ; y o u ' l l learn a few new hand signals if you haven't quite made the s h i f t i n t o h i g h g e a r . I ' v e found parking lots suffer a bit of the same malady – per- haps the spill over from com- ing off the autostrada and easing back into la vita nor- male (the normal life) before that patience reengages? Impatience with tourists is another exception I've noted here and there, yet I typically find myself feeling the same a n g s t … s u c h a s w i t h t h e aforementioned coffee bar bungle. Afterall, it is difficult to fault anyone's tolerance, no matter the country, when visitors buck the system and expect it to work according to their agendas. Cue resent- ment and aggravation on both sides! Some aspects of Italian c u l t u r e w i l l n e v e r m a k e sense, but that's not a prob- lem given us to solve. It's an unspoken deal, a beautiful trade-off of acceptance of imperfection and efficiency for the exquisite beauty of the Italian way of life. And while m i n o r i r r i t a t i o n s w i l l inevitably still occur, the cure is easily found. Find a quiet spot and settle into the whis- pers of an ancient piazza; spread a blanket under danc- ing clouds on a vine covered hillside; raise a ruby-glass t o a s t t o p i a n o - p i a n o … t o finding the perfect fit (with- out throwing a fit) for your o w n b r a n d o f p a t i e n c e Italian-style. PAULA REYNOLDS Everything is slower in Italy, so being patient is often a necessity (Photo: Katarzyna Uroda/Shutterstock) The art of patience Italian-style LA VITA ITALIANA TRADITIONS HISTORY CULTURE

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