L'Italo-Americano

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 20, 2022 www.italoamericano.org 24 L'Italo-Americano K i s s i n g is the ultimate sign o f a f f e c t i o n and, if you live in some parts of Europe, not only between lovers or family members. We are all familiar with the image of our Italian friends and relatives air-kissing o n e a n o t h e r ' s c h e e k s when they meet, a common habit als in Spain, France, Switzerland, Poland, Bel- gium and the Netherlands, but less so in Scandinavian and Anglo-Saxon countries. In fact, we are not too keen on it in the States, either. Truth to be said, il bacio sulla guancia – once a sym- bol of friendship and love – turned into a sort of fiend d u r i n g t h e p a n d e m i c , f o r more than obvious reasons, and many are still to go back i n t o t h e h a b i t . B u t i t r e m a i n s a q u i n t e s s e n t i a l practice of Italy, one that has an interesting history and that, of course, must fol- low a special etiquette. Kissing one another when meeting was a popular habit among the ancient Jews and Romans: it was considered the ultimate sign of friend- ship and fraternity, so much so that it wasn't unusual to k i s s o n t h e l i p s , e v e n between people of the same s e x . I n t h e e n d , J u d a s ' betrayal of Christ was sealed with a kiss and every Italian student can tell you that, in t h e 8 t h C a n t o o f D a n t e ' s I n f e r n o , V i r g i l k i s s e s I l Sommo Poeta on the face, as a sign of respect. Indeed, kissing was an important social and political tool in the Middle Ages, when even peace treaties and truces were confirmed with a kiss between the fighting groups' leaders. Roberto Roveda, who wrote an interesting article on the subject for the Italian history magazine Focus Sto- ria, discusses also the gala- teo del bacio, the etiquette we should follow. Because if you think we all kiss on the cheeks the same way, well, you're wrong. In Italy, for i n s t a n c e , w e u s u a l l y g i v e two kisses, one on each c h e e k , f i r s t o n t h e r i g h t , then on the left. Starting on the right side is key, unless we want to kiss the other person on the mouth, some- t h i n g w e n o l o n g e r d o , unless it's our partner, of course. Research also says that the cheek we choose to start with may say some- thing about our personality: apparently, if we start with the left cheek we tend to be more emotional, but who knows… In France, the situation is a bit more complicated: our cousins across the Alps tend t o p r e f e r t w o k i s s e s , b u t they exchange four in the North-West and even five in some parts of Corsica. Paris tendentially wants three. Central Europe also goes for three, so remember that if you are in the Netherlands, B e l g i u m o r P o l a n d . I n Northern Europe you'd be hardly pushed, as we said, to see strangers kissing in the street, especially if they are men. But let's go back to Italy a n d t o o u r n a t i o n a l e t i - quette. We've referred to "air kissing" a few times and it's important to understand why: if it's true that yes, we do kiss one another on the cheeks when we meet, we should make it clear that they are not "real" kisses unless you're exchanging t h e m w i t h s o m e o n e y o u k n o w w e l l . U s u a l l y , t h e bacio sulla guancia you see p e o p l e s h a r i n g d o e s n ' t i n v o l v e a n y l i p - t o - c h e e k contact, it's more of a light, f e a t h e r y t o u c h o f t h e cheeks, an "air kiss," if you w i l l . M i n d , t h o u g h , r e a l kisses on the cheeks exist, and they are, in Italy as any- where else in the world, a sign of deep affection. During the pandemic, we learned how to refrain from exchanging our beloved baci sulla guancia in name of keeping ourselves and oth- e r s s a f e ; t o d a y w e c o u l d start again, but it isn't as easy as it seems, it almost feels alien, a gesture that belongs to another world. It i s n ' t u n u s u a l , e s p e c i a l l y when we see someone we know for the first time in a long time, to ask if we can k i s s t h e m o n t h e c h e e k , o f t e n w i t h a n e a s y - g o i n g "che ne dici, ce lo diamo un b a c i o ? " w h i l e w e w o n d e r how long it will take us to go back to normal. I n t a n t o ( e e n - t a n - toh) is today's word. Attested for the first time in our beautiful language in the 13th century, it is formed by two terms, the preposition in and the adverb tanto. It is very common and we like to use it to highlight that two actions are taking place at the same time, for instance, George preparava il dolce intanto io a p p a r e c c h i a v o l a t a v o l a ( " G e o r g e w a s m a k i n g t h e dessert while I was setting the table"), or tu manda le mail appena puoi. Intanto io mi occupo delle telefonate ("Send the emails as soon as you can. In the meanwhile, I'll take care of phone calls"). Very often, we use intan- to when the two actions we are talking about are oppo- site to one another, like in tu stai seduto a guardare la TV, intanto io pulisco tutta l a c a s a ! ( " y o u ' r e s i t t i n g there, watching TV, while I a m c l e a n i n g t h e w h o l e house!"). In these instances, tones tend to be reproachful! I n t a n t o c a n a l s o m e a n "anymore" in some contexts, so be careful: fai quello che ti p a r e , i n t a n t o n o n h a p i ù importanza ("do what you want, it doesn't matter any- more"). You can also translate it with "meanwhile," "in the meanwhile," "in the mean- time." Ti posso regalare i miei libri di spagnolo, intanto non li uso più I can give you my Spanish books, I'm not using them anymore Dobbiamo organizzarci: io pulisco la cucina, intanto tu rifai i letti We need to get organized: I'll clean the kitchen, in the meanwhile, you can make the beds Intanto inizia a studiare per l'esame, poi parleremo del viaggio a Londra! S t a r t s t u d y i n g f o r t h e exam in the meanwhile, then we'll talk about going to Lon- don! LA VITA ITALIANA TRADITIONS HISTORY CULTURE Word of the day: intanto - a word to save time Italian curiosities: why do Italians kiss on the cheeks? Friends kissing on the cheeks. In Italy, we usually kiss twice (Photo: Liquoricelegs/Dreamstime) Photo 51931687 © Syda Productions | Dreamstime.com

• Cover