L'Italo-Americano

www.italoamericano.org 10 THURSDAY, MAY 27, 2021 L'Italo-Americano I taliani, tutti mam- m o n i ! I t a l i a n m e n a r e a l l m a m a ' s boys . Notoriously, Italian mothers are omnipresent in their sons' lives, they spoil them rotten, feed them, wash and iron their clothes, justify their laziness and are never happy with their girlfriends. Well, it's a stereotype, but just like all stereotypes it's hard to convince people i t ' s n o t t r u e a n d t h e r e i s something real in it, too. N o t a l l m o m s a r e l i k e that, of course, but every Italian knows at least one of that kind: it may be your b e s t f r i e n d ' s m o m o r , i f you're really unlucky, your partner's, but that's a whole different story, as we're not going to talk about suocere today. If you're an Italian living abroad, you've defi- n i t e l y h a d t o h a v e t h e "Italiani, tutti mammoni" conversation at some stage, n e v e r m i n d y o u r g e n d e r : "why do moms fuss so much over boys?" And, if you're a woman, "doesn't that bother you at all?" In truth, Italian men are not more bamboccioni (use- l e s s b r a t s u n a b l e t o t a k e care of themselves because of the ubiquitous presence of their mama) than others, b u t I t a l y h a s n e v e r d o n e anything to set the record s t r a i g h t . B e c a u s e t h e mamma Italiana, over pro- tective, over bearing and quite domineering, is very much an icon of Italy, just l i k e t h e C o l o s s e u m a n d pizza. Our literature, our poetry and, especially in the first half of the 20 th centu- ry, even our music, celebrat- e d m o t h e r s a s t h e m o s t important figure in the life of every male. History has given a hand, too. For example, the author o f P i n o c c h i o , C a r l o Collodi, was actually called C a r l o L o r e n z i n i , b u t h e chose "Collodi" as his pen name, in honor of his moth- er's birthplace, the village of Collodi, in Tuscany. And did you know that Napoleon Bonaparte, who may be a symbol of French national- ism but had Italian blood running in his veins, even brought his mom with him when he was exiled to the Elba Island? If we really want to find the roots of it all, though, we have to go back to Roman times, as it often happens w h e n i t c o m e s t o i l Belpaese. In ancient Rome, m o t h e r s h a d t h e d u t y t o educate their male children and to introduce them to the duties, values and ethics of a good Roman citizen. Often, mothers would even finance their sons' careers, but if you think it was all about maternal love, you'd be mis- t a k e n : b y e n a b l i n g t h e i r s o n s t o r i s e a n d b e c o m e important public figures, Roman matriarchs would gain public visibility and respect for themselves, too. Their sons' success was their o w n s u c c e s s . C o r n e l i a , Scipio Africanus' daughter, refused to marry the King of Egypt to dedicate her life to the political career of the two children, the famous Gracchi brothers, whom she had with her late hus- b a n d . E v e r y I t a l i a n h i g h school student would tell you – because the sentence is often part of first year's translation exercises – that s h e f a m o u s l y s a i d a b o u t them haec ornamenta mea: "they are my jewels." Perhaps, however, we're e v e n m o r e f a m i l i a r w i t h Agrippina, the scheming mother of infamous Nero. H e r t h i r s t f o r p o w e r remained in the annals of h i s t o r y b u t , j u s t l i k e h e r s o n ' s m a d n e s s , m u c h o f what we know may be the result of a typical case of damnatio memoriae, rather than truth. I n t h e M i d d l e A g e s , noble women maintained a role similar to that of their Roman ancestors: they were involved in the education and upbringing of their sons directly. May it suffice here to tell the story of Marozia, a w e a l t h y 1 0 t h c e n t u r y w o m a n w h o d i d n ' t o n l y become pope Sergius III's mistress, but also gave him a child who, thanks to her smart– allow me to use a very modern word here – networking, was later elect- ed to the papacy, too. Researchers agree these historical moms were not very maternal at all: they l o v e d t h e i r c h i l d r e n , b u t they were all about business. If we want to really find the root of that symbiotic relationship between mother and son that is so often asso- ciated with Italy today, we must look at the 1800s, the century of Romanticism a n d R i s o r g i m e n t o . I n those years, pathos, feel- i n g s , e m o t i o n s a n d grandiose ideals of indepen- d e n c e m i x e d w i t h o n e another in a giant tricolore cauldron: believe me, it was all very intense back then. With three Independence Wars within 20 years and a p l e t h o r a o f i n s u r r e c t i o n s against lo straniero, 19 th century's Italian boys often f o u n d t h e m s e l v e s i n u n i - form, ready to fight for their ideals of freedom and inde- p e n d e n c e . A n d w h a t d i d t h e i r m a m a s d o ? T h e y e m b r a c e d t h e v e r y s a m e i d e a l s , r e a d y t o s a c r i f i c e w h a t t h e y h e l d d e a r e s t – their sons – to the altar of t h e M o t h e r l a n d . F o u r o f Adelaide Cairoli's chil- dren died fighting for the i n d e p e n d e n c e a n d o n e became prime minister of unified Italy. Cairoli was a p a t r i o t h e r s e l f , j u s t l i k e Maria Drago, mother of one of the Fathers of our c o u n t r y , G i u s e p p e Mazzini: she always sup- ported the patriotic endeav- ors of her son, to whom she o f t e n b e s t o w e d p r e c i o u s advice. In the years between the e n d o f t h e 1 9 t h a n d t h e beginning of the 20 th centu- ry, mothers started to hold the significant duty of keep- ing the family together, and were considered responsible for the moral education of their children, especially among the bourgeoisie. It w a s , i n d e e d , t h e u n i o n between bourgeois ideals and the Catholic Church to mark, perhaps, the official b i r t h o f t h e m a m m a Italiana, a woman not only in charge of the house, but also of the ethical, religious and moral development of her children. W h e n , i n 1 9 2 2 , Mussolini and his Fascist Party rose to power, wom- anhood became synonym w i t h m o t h e r h o o d : i f y o u wanted to be a good donna fascista, you had to have loads of children and make sure they were raised ade- quately. Mussolini's ideal mother was granitic, stoic, ready to sacrifice her chil- dren to the country, much like in the Risorgimento. She also had to be prolific, Fascist and faithful to her husband. Unless it was Il Duce himself to be interest- ed: he was quite a ladies' man. After the end of Fascism, the idea of mothers as the moral fulcrum of the home and the lifelong protector of h e r – m a l e — c h i l d r e n , remained, also because, as we've seen, Mussolini really d i d n ' t i n v e n t a n y t h i n g . Contrarily to journalist and w r i t e r C o r r a d o A l v a r o w h o , i n 1 9 5 2 , c o i n e d t h e word mammismo, a concept that really exist only in Italy. A mom cooking with her young daughter. Italian mothers are said to be omnipresent in the lives of their children, but is it really true? (Photo: Impact Photography/Shutterstock) LIFE PEOPLE PLACES HERITAGE GIULIA FRANCESCHINI La mamma è sempre la mamma! A brief history of Italians and their moms

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